October 13, 2008

#2 Radio talk show host Stephanie Miller dubbed Sarah Palin “Caribou Barbie”—and the name has stuck.

By gregorybergman
Topics:
Caribou Barbie
Sarah Palin

Mattel may not be thrilled, and Santa Claus even less so, but the spectre of our svelte Sarah Palin armed to slaughter Old St. Nick’s reindeer is titillating disturbed Americans from Nome to New York City.

Now this is where all you Caribou Barbie fans proclaim loudly, “But I didn’t know caribou was the NRA code name for reindeer!”

Sure, like everyone doesn’t know that Webster defines the word like this:

car*i*bou
a large, gregarious (read: happy, until you shoot it) deer of Holartic taiga and tundra that typically boasts palmate antlers in both sexes, especially in the New World—also called reindeer.

Also called reindeer. You read it here first. Caribou Barbie is just an NRA euphemism for Rudolph-the-Red-Nosed Serial Killer.

You might be a Caribou Barbie if:

  1. You have your taxidermist on speed dial.
  2. There are more antlers than family pictures on your walls.
  3. You’ve ever shot anyone just for looking at you funny.
  4. You own a homemade fur coat.
  5. You have “ammo” on your Christmas list.
  6. You’ve ever scarfed down more than three moose burgers in a sitting.


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